It seems there is often this great dichotomy of who I am
and who I think I should be…
have to be…
want to be….
And the struggle lies within the grayness of attempting to get there
and the reality of where I am…
in the “every-dayness” of it all.
Fully aware I have counseled others,
spoken truths I know …
that the journey looks like a necessary route to an intended outcome…
but it really “is” the place
and the space of the experience….
the reality of what I am….
is where I am in that moment,
And we often miss that seeking other fields of
well kept and greener grass
I tell my children this
They watch me labor to keep things tidy, even for a moments pleasure of calling it done…
they are privy to my deep frustration, when there is no help or cooperation…
And this is the Nitty Gritty,
the every day ,
Endless days…sun up..sun down….dishes dirtied…dishes cleaned. Beds rumpled and made, clothes soiled, clothes washed.
And in this everyday on our way to another day…we get to be a family, together…for better, for worse, imperfect and beautiful…
And when I fully embrace the knowledge of this system and its incredible brevity though seemingly eternal in the messy parts…
I am speechless
Because I am reminded
it is a whisper,
sand in the wind
like the daffodil who pops her
lemon head amongst the brown of winter
and says “Here I am …perfectly beautiful, complete…but only for a moment
look upon me with great
For tomorrow, I will be gone
and if you did not take notice you
will have missed a spectacular joy.